Chapter 8: Having a Child with a Kiss

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ANNOUNCEMENT

Completed Chapter is on my ko-fi page, thank you

                       🌸 Completed Chapter

Xia Xi’s breathing was uneven, and his eyes betrayed his panic. Seeing the youth who was now as tall as himself, he felt a flicker of genuine fear. Chu Lan had likely been drinking heavily; he didn't notice Xia Xi’s expression and stumbled forward, practically falling into Xia Xi’s arms. Xia Xi caught him, smelling the strong scent of wine, and helped him into a chair. "I will fetch some tea for you."

Chu Lan nodded, his eyes following Xia Xi’s every move. When Xia Xi offered the tea, Chu Lan didn't take the bowl; he drank directly from Xia Xi’s hands, gulping down half the bowl before staring at him with hazy eyes. "I brought you many things. Have you seen them?"

"I have. Thank you," Xia Xi replied.

Pleased by the thanks, Chu Lan smiled broadly. "Do you like them?"

"I do."

Happier still, Chu Lan reached for his hand. Xia Xi set the tea bowl down and let him take it. When they first held hands, Chu Lan’s hand was much smaller; now it was larger than Xia Xi’s. Though still a youth, his palms were covered in callouses and small scars from years of wielding a blade—unlike Xia royal men, whose hands remained soft and white. Xia Xi’s hands were beautiful—long, slender fingers like tender leeks, soft to the touch. Chu Lan clearly liked them, stroking them for a long time before leaning his weight against Xia Xi. Panicked, Xia Xi stepped closer, and Chu Lan rested his head against Xia Xi’s abdomen, nuzzling him. Xia Xi’s entire body went rigid.

Chu Lan’s voice was now a clear, resonant masculine tone, his childhood voice gone. "I haven't seen you in so long. No one expected those traitors to hold out so long. Their capital didn't fall until last month. My... I suppose he was my cousin... he was brave. Seeing he couldn't win, he killed his children and then himself. Hmph. A formidable man, I suppose."

Xia Xi didn't know how to respond to such news. He only whispered, "You have had much to drink. Should you rest? I... I will fetch hot water for you." He tried to pull back, but Chu Lan wouldn't let go, nuzzling his abdomen again. "Xi'er, you smell so good."

Xia Xi never used perfumes or powders unless necessary. The praise made him blush, but his anxiety worsened. He whispered, "Let me help you wash up, alright?"

Chu Lan looked up, his face flushed with wine, his features now possessing a certain handsome maturity. His gaze was burning, making Xia Xi restless. After a long silence, he uttered a soft "Mhm" and finally released Xia Xi’s hand.

Xia Xi let out a long sigh of relief.

He brought hot water and, as he always had, washed the other's face and hands with a cloth, removed his shoes and socks to wash his feet, and then coaxed him into bed. Xia Xi’s back was damp with nervous sweat. As Chu Lan grew older, the fear in Xia Xi’s heart intensified—he lived in dread of his secret being exposed, yet he had no choice but to face it head-on.

He felt as though he were just trying to survive one day at a time.

After discarding the water, Xia Xi blew out the candles in the outer room and walked toward the bed, only to find that Chu Lan wasn't asleep. His eyes were wide open, his gaze fixed on Xia Xi. Startled, Xia Xi couldn't hide the panic on his face, and his voice trembled. "Wh-why aren't you asleep yet?"

Chu Lan reached out to take his hand, pulling him down to lie beside him. He pressed close, his voice carrying a hint of uncharacteristic bashfulness. "Mother told me today that I should... share a room with you soon, so we can have a child."

Xia Xi’s whole body shuddered at those words. His reaction was so violent that Chu Lan noticed and frowned. "Do you not like the idea?"

Xia Xi’s neck felt like stone. He slowly turned his head to meet Chu Lan’s gaze, bit his lip, and whispered, "It’s not that I don't like it..." He closed his eyes, as if making a momentous decision. "Great King, I... I actually have something..." Before he could finish, Chu Lan interrupted him dissatisfactorily. "Don't call me that. Call me by my name."

Xia Xi forced out the name "Chu Lan." Just as he was about to continue, Chu Lan asked, "Do you know how to... share a room?"

There was a note of expectation in his voice. Xia Xi’s breathing became erratic with nerves. Of course, he knew; he had been thoroughly instructed before his marriage, and there was even a manual on "bedchamber arts" hidden away in his dowry. But Xia Xi told a small lie. "I... I don't really know..."

Chu Lan seemed to understand. "You haven't been married before, so it's normal not to know. I’ll teach you!" He leaned in closer, clearly nervous himself, yet eager.

Xia Xi’s palms were slick with sweat, and his heart pounded so loudly he wondered how the person in front of him couldn't hear it. He watched with wide eyes as his young husband leaned closer. Like meat on a chopping block, he had given up resistance, ready for whatever this man decided to do. After what felt like an eternity, when Chu Lan’s nose was almost brushing his, and their breaths were hot and mingled, Chu Lan leaned in and gave him a soft kiss on the lips.

The kiss was light, but it made a small sound that caused both of them to turn bright red. They pulled apart slightly, flustered. After a moment, Chu Lan looked both satisfied and hesitant. "Is that... how a child is made?"

He stared at Xia Xi’s pale pink lips and swallowed. "Should we kiss a few more times?"

Xia Xi felt as though he might faint from tension, yet he was rescued by those words. Kissing? To have a child? Could it be that his young husband didn't understand what "sharing a room" actually meant and thought a kiss was enough?

How could he be so... innocent?

Chu Lan leaned in again, looking quite moved. "Is it alright if I kiss you more? Will every kiss make a child? What if there are so many they can't fit in your stomach?"

Xia Xi’s face turned scarlet. He whispered, "Probably... not..."

Chu Lan’s eyes lit up. "Then I’ll kiss you more." He fixed his gaze on Xia Xi’s lips, looking both expectant and excited as he pressed his lips solemnly against Xia Xi’s. He lingered there, rubbing his lips against Xia Xi’s as if loath to pull away. When he finally did, he couldn't help himself and leaned in again, kissing him a dozen more times.

Their tangled bodies grew hot. Sensing the youth was about to lean in again, Xia Xi dodged slightly and whispered, "That should be... enough..."

Chu Lan looked reluctant, licking his lips. "Is that all it takes?"

Xia Xi pulled the quilt up to cover his chin in shame. "I... I don't know either, but it should be... enough. We can... save some for tomorrow..."

Only then did Chu Lan lie back. Both were shy, and silence fell between them. After a moment, Chu Lan shifted uncomfortably, moving away from Xia Xi toward the inner side of the bed as if hiding something. "Then let's sleep."

Xia Xi breathed another sigh of relief. "Alright."

Chu Lan seemed to firmly believe that kissing led to pregnancy. Every few days, he would touch Xia Xi’s belly to see if it was growing. When he found it still flat, he wasn't disappointed; instead, he seemed pleased, as it meant they could "share the room" again that night. He clearly loved kissing Xia Xi, always looking forward to it before sleep. Once Xia Xi was in bed, he would lean over to kiss him, usually a dozen times, before retreating in a slight panic to turn over and sleep.

At first, Xia Xi didn't understand this behavior. But one night, when his thigh accidentally brushed against the other's groin, he realized Chu Lan had an erection.

After the war with the Western Barbarians, Chu Lan rarely stayed in Yudu and had stopped letting Xia Xi bathe him. Thus, Xia Xi hadn't known the state of his development. Only now did he realize his husband had truly grown up. Xia Xi felt a pang of guilt; if he were a normal person, he could have been a real wife to his husband instead of deceiving him. His deception left the youth so confused about his own body that he didn't even understand his own "arousal," viewing it as something strange to be avoided.

But for the sake of his own life, Xia Xi selfishly chose to continue playing the fool.

Chu Lan remained busy after the reclamation of the West. That winter, he sent envoys to the Xia Kingdom to negotiate trade. Border relations had always been tense; the Xia Kingdom was largely self-sufficient, while the barbarians relied on trade for many necessities. When the Xia refused to sell, the barbarians would raid, leading to a cycle of broken treaties and war. Only a month ago had a formal truce been signed.

The trade agreement was finalized the following summer. When the envoys returned, they brought many gifts from the Xia Emperor. Among them was a crate from Princess Hui specifically for Xia Xi.

Xia Xi was surprised when it was delivered. The crate was heavy and unsealed, though it bore intact official seals. Cai Huan broke the seals and opened it. The crate was full; on top was a garment and two letters. Recognizing the handwriting on one, Xia Xi gasped. "This is a letter from my mother!"

He had never been so happy. His face lit up with an unprecedented expression as he quickly tore open the letter. But as he read, line by line, the smile on his face froze. By the time he finished, his expression was one of profound worry.

Noticing the change, Cai Huan asked with concern, "Princess, what is wrong?"

Xia Xi shook his head and opened the letter from Xia Hui. Upon reading the first sentence, he let out a sharp cry and collapsed weakly to the floor. Cai Huan was terrified, asking what had happened repeatedly until Xia Xi said despondently, "Cai Huan... my mother... has passed away..."